From Wit’s End

Well, things were looking mighty good, so I went to their house that Saturday. When I arrived, Leanne’s mom asked me how the drive was. I was inspired; I answered: “Well, it’s a pity. There’s not much to see between here and Columbia. Just a lot of pine trees, mostly. But I kept seeing these strange protest signs all along the way.” She took the bait: “Protest signs?” “Yeah,” I answered, “All these funny bright orange protest signs that said ‘END CONSTRUCTION’!” (Rim Shot)

The day went well. We played chess and walked about the countryside talking about all manner of things. I took pictures using the digital camera I had bought for the previous weekend. There was a bit of awkwardness when things regarding her past life were brought up, but I figured patience was the best policy. We had a most pleasant dinner with the whole family, and I took the opportunity to invite them all to my church for the next weekend, when the choir would be singing the Easter portion of the Messiah. We sung a few hymns out of the “Sacred Harp” Shape-Note songbook after the dishes were cleared, as was the family custom.

Having a acquired a bit of an affection for Leanne, and having a desire to do things properly, after dinner that evening i drew her father into the study and asked him if i could court his daughter. He said “No”, because i believed in “sprinkling babies”, covenant theology, and didn’t believe in the exclusive use of the KJV. We discussed that bit of foolishness for a few minutes, and I said I was sure there was a solution to the disagreement that would work out to the satisfaction of everybody’s consciences. Then, in a most confusing turnabout, he said i was welcome back if i wished to visit again. I left the house in a great state of perplexity. As i drove home to Columbia, in the dark i picked out one of the tapes in the holder between the seats to listen to on the way home, and just happened to pick out a particular tape of the radio show "Thistle & Shamrock", which just happened to be about all different aspects of love, courtship and heartbreak. The clock rolled to 12:01am, and it was officially April Fool’s day.