From Wit’s End

A family friend’s humorous take on what we were all dealing with in Leanne’s
situation:

[Leanne continues to tell her side of the story. The following is an excerpt from her journal, which she later typed up and gave me to tell me the whole story. It’s used with her permission. Later notes from Leanne are in italics, and notes from myself are in brackets like this.]

Then this past Tuesday [April 24th, I think] Billy yelled through the house full of kids that we were tutoring, ‘Leanne, your boyfriend’s on the phone.’ Startled, I asked, ‘Which one? – Just kidding,’ hoping Billy would laugh and hand the phoneto me. No, he asked, into the phone, ‘Which one are you?’ I snatched away the phone and found that it was Ben and both his parents. We talked for two hours and Mr. Wisdom asked some very thought-provoking questions, and further convinced me (well, not really, just confirmed what I already knew) that I didn’t have to stay here, that I can leave whenever I want to. The problem is, I don’t have anywhere to go. Billy’s church or a housechurch would be my best bet, but I’d still be excluded and shunned. Not that I really care.”

(Ben, his parents, and I, talked about men who had lost their work due to sin. Jonathan taught that authorities shouldn’t lose their position because of sin, but Judas and Saul both did. See Acts 1:25 and I Samuel 13:13-14. I asked how I was supposed to believe that I could claim to have enough wisdom and knowledge to judge such an important thing, because Jonathan said that we as women could not do that. They showed me II Corinthians 6:14-7:1. I found that I was unequally yoked. Not with unbelievers, per se, but with believers in something else than what I believed in, and I had to leave. Ben’s father explained that as a child of God, I am entitled to what comes along with that: knowledge and understanding of Him. He said that nobody has a right to withhold that from me. He said that on a spiritual level, God deals withus all the same way, and that I have an obligation to follow Him, not my authority, when they contradict, and that I, as a child of God, have the ability to discern the Word of God. That was incredibly wonderful to hear, and so different that I almost didn’t believe it. But it was true.)

[I’m going to let Leanne tell the next part of the story. The following is an excerpt from her journal, which she later typed up and gave me to tell me the whole story. It’s used with her permission. Later notes from Leanne are in italics, and notes from myself are in brackets like this.]

Sunday, April 22, 2001– “Ben knows. How? Ben said he knows Jonathan [the “preacher” at Leanne’s “church”] is the way he is. He said his father picked up on it very quickly… (Sun. A.m. Was the first time he came to church with us… and the last time. Ben and I went on a walk that afternoon) Ben used the phrase ‘show me a way out’ again. He had used it in an e-mail and it struck terror, so I nonchalantly said, ‘Out of what?’ He didn’t answer… Ben asked about Rob. (For some reason, I haven’t figured out why, Daddy likes to tell other prospective guys about the Rob episode.) I was pretty vague and just said that Daddy had told him what he told Ben. Me and Rob had worked out our doctrinal differences, but Daddy decided that it was the two of them who had to agree. That didn’t make Ben very happy… He informed me that he knew what the family situation was like and that it was obvious that Mama and Daddy didn’t get along. He also said he knew about our church being like it is, that his dad suspected it immediately. I asked how, and he said because

1. Of the isolation,
2. only one elder,
3. Jonathan’s obviously a dominating choleric (from hearing the tapes).

I agreed that all three were a problem. He asked if I could leave and I explained that the only way to work it, that I had come up with after eight years of thinking, was that I’d have to convince somebody to join the church, then after a few years leave together. But nobody had been willing to do that, for which I don’t blame them. Ben was very angry by the time we got done, which was like two hours later…

Anyway, me and Ben walked back toward the house discussing ‘ways out’, and he honestly thinks that I shouldn’t be forced to stay at a church against my conscience. He showed me where anything not of faith is sin, and that if it went against my conscience to sign the Covenant and be a member, it’s wrong. He said we should obey God rather than man. We walked up the driveway and I told there was no possible way I could rebel… Before, while we were talking, he wanted to know exactly why the church split (apparently Daddy mentioned it– for some reason) and the details surrounding the event. I told him I would not say. He asked
if I thought it was gossip and I said I didn’t think so, but that the others in the church would, so he wouldn’t hear it from my mouth. I think that irritated him… (Eventually of course, I did tell him.)

On Easter Saturday, I visited Leanne’s house again. We went on an outing to Bob Jones University, where we saw the so-called “Living Gallery” theater production, which is apparently a BJU Easter tradition. We also walked through the Art museum there, which i’m told is one of the largest collections of sacred art in the world. We had a great time, bantering and gallivanting about in a most pleasant fashion. I once again had dinner with the family, and was quite peculiarly invited to stay the night and go to church with them in the morning. I politely declined, since I had church obligations of my own to fulfill as part of the choir. The next morning I sat in the choir loft in the morning service feeling a tremendous peaceful sense of being in the midst of Divine Providence. Could she be the one? I wasn’t sure but we got along so well that I couldn’t see how our minor differences could stay between us for long. But I had only spied the tip of the iceberg at that time, and before I could change course, I eventually saw that I was duty-bound to run into it…

In between e-mail, eating, work, and sleep, I applied myself to my GRE study book most vigorously, particularly the logic portion of the book. Today, on my brother Tom’s birthday, I took the test for the second time. “There, that’s a little better than last time,” said I when I saw my new scores…

…That studying of the Analytical type of questions paid off, and no error. Satisfied with these scores, I filled out the pre-registration form for Georgia Tech’s Distance Learning Master’s Degree Program on the internet and received the registration packet a few days later. In the ensuing weeks, I gradually filled out all the forms and wrote the essays, etc., Watching warily as the days went by all too quickly and the deadline of May 26th loomed closer…

On Palm Sunday, Leanne and her parents came to visit us and to attend the evening service at our church, at which the choir sang the Easter portion of Handel’s Messiah. As is typical, there was a fellowship dinner afterwards in the Family Life center. Conversation proceeded on a polite tack, until everyone was done eating. My father said to Leanne’s parents that they were welcome to come to our church anytime they liked. Her father reacted strangely, saying that they liked their church, too, and that coming to First Presbyterian might not happen that often since they would have to get permission from their pastor first.

Well, we Wisdoms were mildly nonplussed at such a reply, and we moved the conversation on to other things. Of course, later we understood why he said what he did.